The Devil's Rose's blog

2006-10-30 11:05 p.m.

If You Loved Me You Would Be Here With Me

So, I thought that from now on, I'm going to include song lyrics to whatever it is that I'm listening to when I'm inspired to write.

I live my entire life to a soundtrack made by other people.

Tonight, I'm listening to Evanescence.

"Call Me When You're Sober"
Don't cry to me:
If you loved me
You would be here with me.
You want me?
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

Should I let you fall?
Lose it all?
So maybe you can remember yourself?
Can't keep believing:
We're only deceiving ourselves
And I'm sick of the lie.
And you're too late.

Don't cry to me:
If you loved me
You would be here with me.
You want me?
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

Couldn't take the blame:
Sick with shame.
Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated,
No wonder you're jaded:
You can't play the victim this time
And you're too late.

So don't cry to me:
If you loved me
You would be here with me.
You want me?
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

You never call me when you're sober.
You only want it 'cause it's over.
Oh, it's over.

How could I have burned paradise?
How could I? You were never mine!

So don't cry to me:
If you loved me
You would be here with me.
Don't lie to me;
Just get your things.
I've made up your mind.

I find that my emotions aren't making sense lately.

I feel like I'm bordering on hysteria.

I'll see pictures of myself with my friends and get angry, pictures of my friends without me and want to cry, etc.

I'm finding that I'm angry with people for not being here. I'm finding that I feel like they don't love me or something, like they're forgetting me while I'm gone.

And as for the people here? Well, I feel like I don't even want to see them, really. Except for the boy I've invited to dance lessons. I'm thinking about him a lot.

Truth be told, I'm freaking out. The last time I asked a guy out, it ended bad. The last time, I promised myself it would never happen again. But it did. Accidentally or not, the fact remains that it happened. And he's calling me to coordinate our meet-up before we go gallivanting off with my college amigas.

OMG.

I;m kinda freaking about that.

Meanwhile, I'm extremely distressed about having to spend Halloween without the best friends. It was always OUR holiday. Our group favorite. It was such fun.

And now we're spending it apart from one another.

"Don't cry to me: if you loved me you would be here with me."

That only works when life doesn't interfere. Because I know that we love each other. But we're still not together.

Happy Halloween, everyone. Back | Older | Current | Next