2007-10-16 12:19 a.m.
Ruminations
Lots to talk about tonight. I think.
Maybe not, but we shall see, shan't we?
So where to start? Saturday, I imagine.
It was quite the interesting day. At noon I met up the couple who were going to drive me and one other guy up to San Francisco by the bookstore. It was kind of a long drive. We played 20 questions for lack of much to talk about.
San Francisco was just as motley as I remember it being. Even more than Hollywood, it changes personality with every street you pass. We were in the district called the Tenderloin, basically the section of downtown where the city's homeless population live because the people we were meeting were doing a service project making lunch for them. We got there too late for that, so we headed to the San Francisco State campus to hang out with the kids from there.
Back at SF State headquarters, we talked and made friends and I guess networked is a good word for it with the kids from there until the minister(?) lady in charge of that group called us all together to do the more ceremonial, reflective, religious part of the day. We all gathered together and they prayed - I sat in respectful silence with my head bowed since I'm not exactly religous - and then the lady in charge passed out river rocks, paint pens, flash paper, and normal pens, and talked to us about a quote from the Bible about how, at the final judgment or whatever, Jesus will reward people who do good by "the least of his people" and punish those who ignore the plight that other people are in. She asked us to write on the flash paper the things that stand between us and helping humanity, and to write on the rock the things that we can use to serve humanity and see god in all the people around us. When everyone was done, she called us up one by one for communion and as we went up, we were instructed to leave the rock on the table as what we bring to society, and to burn the flash paper in a dish of salt and candles she had put out in order to release the things that inhibit us from helping others. It was quite meditative.
Then we went and saw a documentary called "For the Bible Tells Me So" about Christian families with LGBTIA/Queer members and how the struggle over gay rights and religion affects them. It was quite powerful - and I know that most of the other kids I was with thought so as well because we were all talking about it afterwards. Especially since almost all of us, if not queer ourselves, have queer relatives. In my case, I have a lesbian aunt and gay uncle. I love them both dearly, although I could live without my aunt's partner, and it angers me sometimes that our country would deny them the right to marry whoever they wish.
The drive back was quiet, and filled with interesting talk about different spiritual paths and viewpoints. The guy sitting next to me in the backseat is a Christopagan, so I found that totally enlightening. Apparently my best friend isn't the only one - and I seem to be well on my way to same.
Even my personal symbol covers that aspect of what I think I will eventually become. I wear an anchor all the time, for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, my friends are my anchor to my home and my soul. And we're all a pirate crew (or so we joke). And a cross is the perfect symbol of the balance between paganism and Christianity (being the only religion that views itself as mutually exclusive with other religions): it's a cross balanced on a crescent moon. The symbol of the sacrificed god balanced on the symbol of the ever-changing goddess.
Mainly I wear it because I'm a pirate and it's the symbol of my group of friends, but lately it's seemed more and more appropriate to my evolving spiritual sensibilities.
So I got in kind of late, thinking about a lot of things. The day had caused me to start thinking a lot.
I still don't know where I stand on issues of faith and belief, especially when we're talking about gods and goddesses. But I want to figure that out, and I'm sort of determined to. So there.
SUnday was a quiet day, I mostly stayed in by myself and relaxed. I ended up blowing everything off, actually, but it was nice. I needed it.
Today, my alarm didn't go off, so by the time I woke up, I'd missed Japanese. I mustn't do that again. 'Twill be bad otherwise.
I went to see my advisor this morning. By the end of the week, I should be declared as a Linguistics major. Yay. And I can get my study abroad application signed off on. Yay.
Linguistics today was interesting. We had a fire alarm go off at the beginning of class, and so everyone jumped out of their stupor. The heat is always on too high in there, it makes everyone nod off. Even the professor jumped - class hadn't started yet. So we stood around in the sprinkling rain waiting to go back inside.
Finally we did, and our professor again made everyone jump by not realizing how loud his computer was on when he showed us the following website:
Click on all the different sounds. It's totally bizarre. And I'm going to be studying such lunacy for the next two years. Lucky me. :-P
Tonight was stressful, my best friend IMed me incredibly upset because some people at her school were getting on her case again. My friend let me use her phone to call her. Finally, after she cried a bit, I got her to calm down. I also told another of our best friends to call her. I'm so glad I have these magically close friendships with these girls.
Earlier I was talking to another friend who's in the unenviable position of failing science but also knowing that any career she has ever thought seriously of having had to do with science in some capacity. But she's being asked to rethink her major and just bleargh. So we were having a really random conversation which, when divorced from context as it was where my housemates were sitting, ended up being totally hilarious for everyone involved, so I think that cheered her up.
There was more to say about everything, but I'm tired as hell, so I'll catch you later to finish this up.
