The Devil's Rose's blog

2006-11-30 12:33 a.m.

"The Missing Frame"

One at a time, constants become surreal.
One at a time, heart attacks are concealed.
I can see that I lose the joys of life,
One at a time.
Suicides are revealed...
You will see that I lost another life.

But tonight...

I'll let you tear it up
If you don't wake me up.
But if you tear it,
We can't repair it.
So please don't wake me
'Til someone cares.
Now, no one cares.

One at a time, I watch them all forget.
One at a time, I'm lost in little deaths.
It's the place that I,
I forget my life.

Like tonight.

I'll let you tear it up
If you don't wake me up.
But if you tear it,
We can't repair it.
So please don't wake me
'Til someone cares.
Now, no one cares

Will the flood behind me,
Put out the fire inside me?
Will the flood behind me,
Put out the fire inside me?

I'll let you tear it up;
I'll let you break it up;
If you don't wake me up.
But if you tear it,
We can't repair it.
So please don't wake me
'Til someone cares.
Now, no one cares.

I'll let you tear it up
If you don't wake me up.
'Cause it's apparent
That you don't care and
It sunk into me
'Cause I don't care.
Now, no one cares.

I got blown off tonight. Tonight being the 29th, but I'm writing this after midnight, so DiaryLand is being funky about the date, and I'm not bothering to change it.

I got blown off by my tango partner.

Oh, yes, indeedy. Meanwhile, my twin sidekicks were having wonderful luck in the male department. I wish I'd gotten that lucky with my initial choice...now I'm wishing he would still just be paying attention.

After we all returned to campus from our frolics, one of my sidekicks did a tarot reading for me.

The verdict? Be prepared for bad. Or rather, be prepared for bad things, but don't worry because it will all end okay.

I'm feeling rather bitter, in case you can't tell.

And even if Mr. Tango Man didn't mean to blow me off, the fact remains that I am a child from an emotionally abusive household. I'm fucked up, basically, and I don't know how to trust people, and once I figure it out, even the teeniest perceived slight will fuck everything over.

My life is fucked up.

And it's not like I even know what to do with him. I like him lots when we're together, I don't get the situation at all when we're apart. It's fucked up.

And I'm not even sure if I believe in the tarot or not. Every time I've had a reading done, it's been freakily accurate. But maybe that's just my subconscious mind being clued in by the images and themes the cards present when laid out in a spread.

Not that it even matters!

The point remains, I sure as hell feel like no one cares. So I shall sleep until afternoon tomorrow...er, today. And that's the end of that.

Please don't wake me until someone cares...Now, no one cares.

Hell, I'll even wake up for a good excuse. But I don't think I'll even get that. God damn it all.

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