2007-02-15 1:38 a.m.
Christopagan?
Speaking of gods...
Religion. It's weird. How do we ever know what to believe? Is it even possible to ever truly settle into your own beliefs, or do they keep shifting? For that matter, SHOULD they keep shifting?
Grr.
Well, let's start with me. My parents are non-religious. They raised me with no religion-based social interaction, choosing to let me set my own course where that's concerned.
I read my first book on Witchcraft at the age of 9. It was a natural interest, and I got really into it. By the age of 11, I had read every single book in the occult section of the local library, including vast stores of mythology. I was the ultimate master of Ancient Egypt among junior high students, and my Greek, Roman, Norse, and Celtic mythology wasn't bad either.
After that, I stopped reading about such things until, at age 13, I read Mists of Avalon. It might not seem like much, but that book shaped a lot of my views, and got me back into the Witchcraft and mythology thing again.
When I was 15, I began attending a church youth group, at the request of one of my best friends. I still go whenever I'm back in town.
I also still read tarot cards for friends and celebrate the pagan holidays.
Needless to say, my understanding of all things religious has been rather confused. On the one hand, I'm very into the idea of a mother goddess, and nature as a very real power which we can draw on. On the other hand, because of some extremely negative experiences in my early years, the idea of a "savior" type deity is compelling - especially since said deity is one of forgiveness, and every time I screw up, I feel extremely guilty (again because of a screwed up childhood).
I think it was Gandhi who said something about 'I like Jesus, but it's the Christians I have problems with'. Ditto that for me.
The other night, while googling some occult information, I strayed across mention of a new term: Christopagan.
Hm. Interesting.
More reading has led me to think that this extremely ecclectic form of pagan and Christian religion may just be right for me.
I'm pretty good at reconciling diametrically opposed elements. And this way I don't have to choose.
I may be crazy, but there you have it. I shall have to remember to update this blog more often...and perhaps my exploration of this - combined with ridiculous college experiences - will give me fodder for interesting entries.
