2007-11-18 1:59 p.m.
Catharsis
And then the Thanksgiving holiday is coming up. Which I'm not going home for - again - since it's not worth it to go home for just a few days to fight with my family. We always fight, that's just how life is, and I don't want to play anymore. I was supposed to go to my best friend's Thanksgiving get-together, but one of her relatives has passed away, and I don't want to intrude on a family thing when they're going through difficult times together.
So I'm spending the holiday alone again. I spent it alone last year, and it just seemed interminably long. I was all by myself for five days, since everyone goes home on Wednesday and nobody comes back until Sunday. At least I have an apartment this year, so I can feed myself. This being a worry since buses don't run into town that weekend due to the lack of students to shuttle into town - and town being four miles away down a really steep hill that I wouldn't want to hike back up.
I'm just feeling kind of blah about the whole thing. I don't even really like this holiday, to be honest. All we do is consume lots of food. Nobody is even actually showing that they're grateful for anything. So it's all just kind of whatever. It doesn't make it any nicer to be spending the holiday all by my lonesome, though.
Maybe I'll do some arts and crafts kinda thing. Collect leaves and flowers from some of the different plants around here and use them to make Celtic knot mosaic cards with dragonflies and stars and flowers and other random things to give out at Christmastime. Last year while I was here I filled my scrapbook with pages of pressed and dried flowers over which I wrote lyrics to various songs that I really like. It all started because a pressed sprig of night-blooming jasmine that I'd kept in a journal was destroyed when it fell out of that journal while I was reading it one day. So I glued it down on a piece of paper, intending to recreate it as it had originally looked, but I was listening to Depeche Mode's "Precious"...and the idea kind of snowballed from there.
It's a great song. So yeah. That's how my scrapbook got about ten different types of flowers set against different song lyrics in different fonts depending on the mood of the song.
Maybe I will to that collage project. I have some different Celtic knot designs that I'm relatively proud of - stylized dragonflies, stars, flowers, and random geometric designs that are all really intricate and would probably look really cool if they were done that way. I just need to make sure the plants dry and stay colorful, otherwise they'll all be brown. Though I suppose if that's the case, then I can look for plants with different smells...I know we have mint and rosemary growing around here.
Eh, I'll figure something out. Anything to keep myself busy and sane.
Speaking of sane...I still feel like I'm going crazy, but I'm getting more of a grip on myself. My best friend and I have been talking about it all...and we've decided that we just have to see everything through to the end to know what's really up. So yeah.
Bleargh, I'm just run down, I guess. So I'm gonna go nap or something, and then I'm off to study for a Japanese test tomorrow morning.
